Childishness

Some days it's nice to just hang out and be a kid again, lol. :)

Lessons of an hour glass

I sit here, in the dark. It's late, the moon is out, the stars are shining....I'm alone. But I don't feel alone. I feel my Heavenly Father's arms around me. It's a wonderful feeling. :)

I feel like my life has been one gigantic pool of reflection the last few weeks. Like a calm right before a change...a HUGE change! ...Unknown to me still...but I feel it not too far ahead...and I'm okay with that. I've spent my entire life fighting change with every breath in me...sometimes it's okay to just take it with a sigh and a smile. I hope I can do that when it comes...whenever it comes, and whatever it is!

There's an hour glass sitting on my desk...I was thinking about it. About every small grain of sand it contains. Sometimes I even think about what it would be like to BE one of those small grains of sand. And then I remember the scripture about God numbering every single grain of sand. He's numbered the grains in my hour glass of life. I marvel at how the grains on top don't seem to move when the hour glass is first tipped. The ones at the bottom fall with, what seems like, great haste. Some days fall fast. Some barely slip by...others wait patiently for their turn to come and go. Together they make a life. Without a day, it wouldn't be the same. Take away a few days-- a few grains-- and our beloved hour glass wouldn't be the same. Each day makes a difference, and each difference we make in our lives matters. Life is made up of moments-- individual days-- and not just giant chunks of time. If we sit waiting for huge things, we'll miss the small ones that make life what it is. Time is gonna slip by whether we like it or not; don't let it slip by without your notice.

Let it shine!

This evening I got the wondrous opportunity to go to the Young Women General Broadcast, directly followed by a stake fireside by Kenneth Cope. There are those moments in my life when I feel the need for a spiritual boost, but don't know what I need to change in order to recieve it. The fireside was amazing! The Spirit was so strong, and the message so simple-- 'God loves you and nothing you can do will change that.' My favorite message was about bodies and glory. God has glory-- a glory so immence that it shines brighter than the sun--angels have glory, yet they can choose to let their bodies hide their glory so that they might discreetly walk among men. I have a spirit that has glory, but it's up to me to realize that glory and not let it be hidden by my body. I must choose to let it shine!!!! I walked away from that fireside filled with exactly what I needed to hear, and even more importantly, exactly what i needed to feel.

His love

"Does God SEND trials, or are they simply things that he ALLOWS to happen?" That has been the question on my mind for the last few weeks. I've had many deep discussions on it, thought about it constantly, searched it out-- but I've found no satisfying answer....I came to the conclusion that it's His will. That's the answer. All trials happen because it's His will. :) No other answer is absolutely mandatory.

What I did realize though....At any given moment the Lord could easily take away any and all of our trials and difficulties. Trials are given to us that we might learn to trust in Him and become all that HE sees we can be. The Lord suffered for our sins, for our pains, for our heartache-- all the heartache that we go through when we are going through the trials that he allows us to go through so that we might learn. The Lord allows us to go through painful trials that we might learn to cast our burdens on him. Every time the Lord lets us go through a trial, he is sacrificing for us with his willingness to take that pain that he allows us to have....because he loves us. Trials are part of his love; a love deeper and more sacrificing that anything we know.

My Spring 2008 Choir Concert

Cinderella

Make time for the small things, because in the end, they're all that really matter.

Spelunking with friends

Hehehe, that's one awesome word-- spelunking! Today I went with Ethan, Alex, Adam and M'leigh to the Kuna Caves. I had so much fun spending time with my friends and experiencing something new. It was so weird to me, being so far under the ground, and in a sense it made me feel small. The realization of God's power and his mighty creations was huge! To realize how big the earth is, how sturdy it is, and detailed, and then how small we are. YET, we're one of his most prized creations. Size doesn't matter to God, it doesn't tell how important or divinely special someone is. He created us in a way that would best fit us and our abilities. It's amazing! But nonetheless, it was a fun opportunity. Here is a short video as we were climbing our way back up. :)



(The dust in the air was nasty...)














Being silly!!















The climb back up...

'Guys and Dolls'

Last weekend Skyler and I went to the high school's musical, 'Guys and Dolls.' It was fantastic, and it was neat to see a couple of my favorite people and two of my really dear friends, both of whom did a fantastic job!!!

Cody (a completely AWESOME friend!!!) is the first person to start singing, then Alex (one of my best friends) comes in second. Great job, guys!!! :D



I love this part, lol. Again, Cody did an awesome job.

Rainy memories

The last few days it's been rainy out and I LOVE IT!!!! It reminds me of the monsoon season and the huge thunderstorms in Arizona. Other than people, that's one of the things I miss the most about Arizona and Texas-- the rain storms. When it rained, it RAINED. I remember watching the lightning from the windows as it crashed down in purples and blues, and being awed by the feeling and sight!! Or how in Texas the rain would pour for days on end and the streets would overflow with running water-- we'd roll our pants up and play in the gutters, racing leaf boats and having water fights. Those are wonderful memories!

A lesson learned in a time of panick

There are a few things that I don't like. This list includes: snow, needles, seafood, being unorganized or having things out of place....and singing solos!!! :( Lucky me, I got asked yesterday to sing a solo at a tri-stake Easter cantata this Sunday that is being performed by select people from the three stakes. I about had a nervous breakdown the moment I realized what I was getting myself into, and the farther along it goes, the more nervous I get! A few months ago Skyler and I sang a duet in church, and I can handle duets, but my knees started shaking and my hands were shaking uncontrolably, and my face grew pale. Skyler says that he was preparing to catch me because he thought I was going to pass out on him. Hahaha, so maybe cross your fingers that I won't pass out till AFTER I've sang my solo, then they can drag me away. ;) lol.

But Skyler will be right there with me. Given the option, I asked him to join me. And with him by my side I can face it-- conquer it.

But this isn't what I wanted to share. There's a bigger picture. Upon recieving this assignment, I found myself panicked, stressed, feeling alone in the world. I'm not accustom to those feelings recently. I don't know how people go through life feeling panicked, sad, alone and abandoned. For me, those simple feelings made me want to cry, not just once, but every conscious moment of my day!

So, in my attempt to find peace and contentment, I used my scripture study to search it out. I found myself in a scripture that talked about being made whole. It's such a common phrase that gets carelessly thrown around. But it made me think, what does it mean to be made whole? Only things that are broken can be made whole, complete...but aren't we all broken, or chipped, or even just rusty and worn from the routines of life? To be whole can mean many things. There are the physical problems--illnesses and sicknesses, the sins, the feelings of betrayal, or hoplessness, unworthiness, unimportance, failure, and the feelings of sorrow, aching, tears, disappointment, NERVOUSNESS. It applies to you and it applies to me. We all reach diassappiontment. I venture to say we've all felt moments of belittlment or unimportance. Chances are, we've all felt sad. But this is what I was taught.

Countless times people were made whole. They were suffering, and the Lord fixed them. Whether I have a physical ailment, or if I'm just feeling down and out, it's not too much for the Lord. If I have faith, and desire to be made whole-- to be lifted, to become a better person, to feel peace or happiness-- it's not 'The Lord CAN, it's he WILL.' And for me, time and time again, he has.